So many times we’ve heard about the importance “to love yourself as you are.” Sounds great, right? But what if you don’t like the way you are now? What if you don’t like how you look, how you feel, or how you live your life? Does it mean that you need to ACCEPT it and pity yourself? Or, does it mean that you should believe blindly that you are the best anyway? Of course, you may choose one of those, but the truth is that it will not take you too far. In fact, it will keep holding you BACK.
When we just accept something that we don’t like, we put ourselves in even bigger trouble, because that kind of acceptance does not make us HAPPY. It makes us a VICTIM. A victim of circumstances, bad genes, other people, or society. When in a reality, it means being a victim of our own negative thoughts and own weaknesses. Since there is no such thing as a “happy victim,” can we choose a better way of loving ourselves “as we are?”
How to Develop a REAL Self Love?
ACCEPTANCE is the first step towards IMPROVING.
Love yourself because you DESERVE the BEST, and MORE:
- better body
- better health
- better food
- better relationships
- better intimacy
- better thoughts
- better feelings
Love yourself enough to take a good care of yourself: do not ignore but highlight your issues, and love yourself enough to work on them.
It is not about “When I become slim, then I’ll be much happier and love myself.”
It is not about “When I am able to fit in that dress/suit, then I’ll become more attractive to other people” either.
It is about knowing, admitting, and accepting BOTH positive and negative sides of you. You are a WHOLE entity, and they are ALL YOURS.
Love them NOW, and invest time, money, and energy in improving your body, mind, and spirit.
Do you see the difference?
Here is a simple example, and I assume you know what I am talking about 🙂
You see your favorite pastry or a cake, and say to yourself: “I love myself the way I am now, I am great and worthy as I am, therefore I deserve to indulge myself with my favorite cake!”
This is NOT self-love, this is a TREAT. But why would you need a treat if you are already in a perfect harmony with BOTH you positive and negative sides? Treating is not love.
Treating is NOT the same as loving.
The treat usually has a certain reason. Treat comes “because.”
- Because a dog/ cat/ horse/ monkey did something good 🙂
- Because he is/she is/ I am “a poor little soul” and life is so unfair 🙁
The real love does not need a reason. It is unconditional.
The real SELF-love is unconditional too.
Say: I love myself, I am great and worthy as I am, therefore I deserve eating healthy food. It will keep me in a good shape.
Say: I love myself enough to not eat unhealthy food. It hurts me and makes me feel guilty and unworthy. I AM worthy and deserve the best.
Say it out loud every time you look for a treat. Write it down and read it frequently. By practicing it daily, you’ll impress your subconscious mind and will develop true self-love. Please don’t be afraid of being selfish, this is NOT about that!
But that is another story and another article 🙂